The Mystery of His Suffering

In our family during this Lenten season and especially during Holy Week, we have been talking with our kids about how Jesus died on the cross. The first time I mentioned how Good Friday is the saddest day of the year because of this, our three-year-old son's eyes got round with distress. I was really moved that he seemed touched by the seriousness of it all.

I said it again last night while we were at the Holy Thursday Mass. I pointed out how all the crucifixes were covered to remind us that Jesus had died. The three-year-old was significantly less impressed this time. Same with our six-year-old.

Now, of course, these children are young and can barely fathom the suffering and agony that Christ endured during his sentencing and crucifixion. And, I don't know that they should be exposed to the real horrors of it all. But what I realized is that I, too, have grown nonchalant about what He endured. I don't want to believe that it was for all for us - and all for me.

There is a novena (praying for nine days for a specific intention), which St. Faustina received and writes about in her diary. It is the Novena of the Divine Mercy, which should be prayed from Good Friday to Divine Mercy Sunday (the Sunday after Easter). In her diary, St. Faustina wrote that Jesus told her:

"On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy ... On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces for these souls."

The different souls prayed for on each day of the novena are:

DAY 1 (Good Friday) - All mankind, especially sinners

DAY 2 (Holy Saturday) - The souls of priests and religious

DAY 3 (Easter Sunday) - All devout and faithful souls

DAY 4 (Easter Monday) - Those who do not believe in Jesus and those who do not yet know Him

DAY 5 (Easter Tuesday) - The souls of separated brethren

DAY 6 (Easter Wednesday) - The meek and humble souls and the souls of children

DAY 7 (Easter Thursday) - The souls who especially venerate and glorify Jesus' mercy

DAY 8 (Easter Friday) - The souls who are detained in purgatory;

DAY 9 (Easter Saturday) - The souls who have become lukewarm.

So, he gave St. Faustina an intention to pray for on each day of the Novena, saving for the last day the most difficult intention of all, the lukewarm and indifferent of whom He said:

"These souls cause Me more suffering than any others; it was from such souls that My soul felt the most revulsion in the Garden of Olives. It was on their account that I said: 'My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass Me by.' The last hope of salvation for them is to flee to My Mercy."

The full weight of my own indifference is hard to comprehend. I look at the cross and often feel nothing. Perhaps I have heard the story too many times, like our children who answer my questions about what happened like they are in a game show, with a big smile on their faces. Yes, I can give the right answer, too, about the details of the story as they unfolded. But, is there humility in my retelling, in my knowledge? Too often, not.

I often think about why Christ came during the time period he did. He knew that crucifixion was the practice of that time, but He came then anyway, to suffer horribly. I often wonder contemptuously why Christ had to suffer at all. Couldn't he just come to the earth and save us without having to endure such suffering? If God was going to save us from our supposed sins and our sinful nature, why doesn't He just forgive us and let us come back into communion with Him? Why did He have to suffer at all?

It is my pride, my contempt, my selfcenteredness that prevents me from seeing this. I don't allow myself to think about the weight of my own sin, the hurt that I have caused God and others, by thinking myself a "good person," by thinking that I have things under control and that I do not need God. If we could truly understand our nature and our actions, in genuine humility before our Lord, we would fall to our knees, begging for His mercy.

I have grown lukewarm, and that is one of the hardest sins to confess. We have gone through this Lent, with resolutions of prayers, fasting, and acts of charity, and we have, albeit imperfectly, followed through. But, when it comes down to it, have we truly lifted our hearts and minds to the Lord? Have we thanked him for what He did?

Let us pray on this Good Friday, with greater intensity than ever before, that we will understand this mystery of Christ's suffering and death, not just with our minds, but with our hearts. Let us come to know that we owe our very existence and our redemption to God Almighty and that He doesn't owe us either one. They are given to us in Love.